Too Many Words on the "How I Met Your Mother" Finale

I'm a latecomer to How I Met Your Mother. As a contrarian/troll, I rejected the show at first because it was popular, and then because the premise of the show--stories about how different couples met--struck me as silly. (It was after watching an episode that I realized that there was only one couple whose story was central. I found it much more interesting then. Yes, I was very wrong.)

So I eventually caught up, and I watched almost the entirety of Season 9 as it happened. And I have to say that I largely disagree with the fan consensus that the finale was a letdown. At least three fans of the show whose opinions I respect came down very opposed to the finale, so I've thought about this quite a bit. I still think I disagree.

Spoilers of epic proportion follow.

One approach to the finale would be to spend the entire hour dealing with the reception. Ted and the Mother (Tracy) could meet early on in the episode; they could hit it off in a way similar to Season 1's Victoria meeting, which would have been somewhat symmetrical. The tone of the episode would be joyful and light. They could then rapid-fire show their relationship, and end with Ted and Tracy at the altar saying "I do." They could then end back with the kids saying something like, "That story was boring," mocking Ted, having the parents share a laugh and a kiss (with the kids off-screen), and fading to black. (Certainly, the showrunners should have shot multiple iterations of the final scene with those kids seven years ago to keep their options open. I have no idea if they did.)

But I think How I Met Your Mother was after bigger game.

We could describe Ted and Robin as "on again/off again," but they're really not. They date for about a year once and then separate when it appears that their life goals are intractably different. Ted and Robin's mutual affection is certainly on-again/off-again, but the two date once and then go elsewhere. The emergence of Barney as a competitor for Robin's affections restricts the potential for the two main characters to reunite.

Ted's affections for Robin never fully disappear throughout the nine years of the show. Why? Well, largely because no one Ted dates even approach Robin in terms of her appeal: she is very attractive, smart, and passionate about life, all of which appeal to Ted.

By Season 9 (which takes place across only 3 days), Ted has gone on a wild goose chase to recover a locket of sentimental value for Robin. The effort to which he goes demonstrates his affection. Clearly, Ted has not given up all feelings for Robin, no matter what he says. (Note that Ted is not a reliable narrator in the story. His actions speak louder than words.)

Thus, for what was ostensibly a romantic comedy show, the worldview of How I Met Your Mother is incredibly bleak. Robin is always Ted's "first choice," and his character is borderline pathetic by the middle of Season 9 after years of pining for Robin and failing to fill that void with other women. Barney won Robin; Ted won nothing except a new job in Chicago and a reboot of his life. And no matter how amazing Tracy was, the bleakness cannot be ignored; a "happy ending" for Ted would paper over the underlying mood of the show: the unfulfilled longing, the disappointment, and the regret. Sure, the "reception" ending would be happy, and showing the two happily married in 2030 would be nice in some ways. But the darkness would remain hidden underneath the surface, or neglected entirely. It just doesn't square with the show as we watched it.

So, instead of opting for a "happy ending" with a bleak subtext, the two opted for something more appropriate for the show: a bleaker finale with a happy denouement. The showrunners chose to spend five minutes at Barney and Robin's wedding, and proceeded to carry our heroes into their melancholy futures.

- Marshall gets stuck back in a corporate law job for a few years that he loathes.

- Robin and Barney divorce after three (seemingly) unhappy years of marriage, with the two never able to reconcile Robin's work travel demands. (Which, oddly enough is similar to why Ted and Robin didn't marry. Are Carter Bays and Craig Thomas making a comment there?)

- Lily becomes incredibly demoralized by losing Robin as a friend. (All we see of Lily after the wedding is disappointment.)

- The "gang," such as it exists, grows apart in many ways. We see them get old and move into their "adulthoods." It is mostly depressing.

Meanwhile, Ted and Tracy are very happy together... for a few years. Within a decade of meeting, Tracy has died of some long-term illness. We see Ted comforting her. On my count, Tracy died in 2024. Their two kids are pre-teens.

This is a better, more realistic trajectory of life than the one suggested by the "happier" episode. The "happier" episode would have allowed us to leave the future to our imaginations, but Carter and Bays can't allow that, because it wouldn't carry their message forward; the bleakness would be too hidden.

The challenge is what Carter and Bays have hinted at for years: the gang was outgrowing MacLaren's and looking at different futures: whether it's Robin taking a job in Tokyo, or Marshall and Lily moving out to the suburbs, these characters all try to go the future, but always got pulled back. But after Barney and Robin marry, the future can't be avoided anymore, and it happens, in all of its pain, change, and sadness.

The "story" that Ted tells his children is somewhat cathartic for him, presumably. He's an older, sad man who has been alone for six years after tragically losing his wife. (Again, this is all incredibly sad.) In retelling the long story, Ted has presumably been overcome with emotion and the realization that--whether he denied it to himself or not--it was always Robin at the center of his journey. Victoria nails it when she confronts Ted over this in Season 8: Robin is what prevents Ted from a successful long-term relationship.

So Ted has a revelation, and his kids sanction it: reality has done what it does--destroy. But Ted can salvage what remains: he can reunite with Robin. He steals the blue French horn from the pilot, holds it up outside her window. The story ends with Robin and Ted--older, wiser, sadder--smiling at each other.

This is a joyful ending to a bleak story, and one that is far more consonant with the story itself: sad adults are able to recapture some of their youth, with the wisdom of experience to bolster their chances. (Isn't this the entire theme of Ted's long-running story?) But this is a much better joyful ending to a bleak story, because it doesn't give us the misplaced hope that life will be perfect once Ted and Tracy and Barney and Robin tie the respective knots. Life is not perfect. People divorce or die young, and How I Met Your Mother's bleak undercurrent needed this coda for the story to remain true to itself.

Lastly, let's be clear: I don't see this as a traditional "happy ending" of any sort. Ted wasn't "waiting" for Robin. Life unfolds in ways that we can't expect. Tracy and Ted were perfect for each other, but she died, because bad things sometimes happen. But the way that the show engaged with its "bad things" was incredibly mature, and its story ends in such a perfect way.